[It takes every ounce of his (considerably small) tact not to burst out laughing when the kid actually starts handing in his sexual resume.

Instead, he deadpans:]

Wow, you're a real Don Juan, kid. What a lucky lady. And of course I'm referring to left.

[And seeing as there's no escaping this question:]

Sometimes I slam him against a wall, sometimes he slams me up against a table. Sometimes, we go crazy and try a bed for a change. It depends on how we're feeling that night.