heliophilic | IC Inbox

Relax, I only hurt people who deserve it.

[And right now Loki's done nothing to deserve such treatment. Not after cooking for him.]

"Apollo" has special meaning to him. And I'd tell him if I remember any of this when I get back... only I'm fairly certain he'll never want to see my face again.

[He doesn't want to think about the possibility of Andrew showing up here. Not that Andrew couldn't handle himself in any situation he might find himself in, but because M still wasn't ready to face him again.

Not that he dwells on the thought long, because yet another first unfurls before his eyes as the two miniature Apollo's engage in a duel with... sausages. Out of everything he's seen, explaining this to a stranger seems like it would be the least believable. And he once helped fight the moon.]

Looks like my Apollo can beat the gods after all.

Oh, no, I'd do it for the morbid curiosity factor. At full tilt I'm not quite the same as I am, it would take a lot to really hurt me...as I am now...well.

[And yes, Loki would take a headbutt just for the lulz, but as he is? There is no room for doubt that M would hurt him.]

Fairly does leave room for doubt.

[Loki's relationship advice is bad and given that he's pretty inadequate at his own relationships, particularly with his brother...scared, in fact he's really not given to long, preachy bits of advice.

Besides, there is a brutal sausage duel unfolding in front of them and once little god Apollo unstuck his head he lifted both the sausage and M's Apollo off of the table before tossing both into Loki's sauerkraut.]

I was done with that anyway. [Loki's whining goes completely ignored as M's Apollo shanghai's another of Loki's sausages, a larger one this time, and away he goes.] What is this fascination with my plate anyway? There's another one. Over there!

[M has a plate too! But yet again, Loki goes completely ignored as the great sausage duel continues.]

How about I promise to headbutt the guy I bring next time for entertainment?

[M already knows exactly how hurt Loki would be if they took this seriously, and he'd rather not just for a laugh.]

Maybe to you.

[Still, he'd be lying if he wasn't hoping himself.

The least he could do was watch this version of Apollo skewer his namesake with a sausage. Oh the things Freud would say about that, if Freud wasn't dead and a quack.]

Clearly they know better than to mess with me.

[He stabs a sausage with his fork and brings it over the heads of the duelling Apollo's to put on Loki's plate.]

Luckily for you I share.

Well if you're promising.

[As he is now? Loki's certain he'd be struggling to fight back the tears, because it would sting quite a bit.]

That's me, the eternal skeptic, doubting everything. You never know when something might crop up that might not appear to be what it seems.

[Like the scene folding out before them, who would have thought that this had come from simple images sketched into paper? An outsider might think they'd gone completely mad.]

Right, because I'm such a pushover.

[But Loki, you are a pushover, if you took more things seriously your own creations wouldn't be so inclined to walk all over you.

Loki's trying his best not to look too delighted by M's gracious offering of food.]

Thank you good ser, your contribution to my stomach will not be forgotten.

[They quickly looked to Loki and his new found bit of fortune, but before they could get any ideas the god of mischief raised his plate out of their reach...as if he could really stop them and just as suddenly he was the mountain in a vigorous round of king of the mountain in which both Apollo's were vying for the highest spot.]

I might be regretting a few of my life's choices.

[M runs a hand over his stomach at the mention of things not appearing as they seem.]

I'm more than aware of that.

[Considering right before he got here his non-Apollo boyfriend ran a knife through him, he's acutely aware that appearances can be deceiving.

His thoughts become significantly lighter as he watches the two APollo's start their ascent up Mount Loki. Taking pity on the god, he reaches out and gingerly grabs the pari by the shoulders, one in each hand, and brings them back down to the ground.]

You two have perfectly good sausages right here to beat each other senseless with--

[He hands them each one of the discarded weiners.]

--Don't get greedy.

[The last words definitely sound like a threat, and the two paper Apollo's quickly decide these sausages are totally good enough.]

[Loki notices the gesture and he can sense that it has nothing to do with the fact that M was full from their meal, but he has enough tact not to as after it.

Quite possibly something painful. Personal. And serious.

Too serious for what was happening at the moment and that was the mini Apollos climbing him and M carefully redirecting their attention, berating them and they listen. They listen.

And here Loki had breathed life into them and Loki couldn't even persuade them to leave his food alone. At least he can finally set his plate back onto the table where it belongs.

They return to their own battle of the sausages and Loki takes the opportunity to eat M's offering to him at a pace that suggests he's trying not to look like he's scarfing his food down faster than they can think about it again.]

You cut quite the authoritative figure.

[That doesn't perplex Loki at all.]

That's the problem with magic, it can be wildly unpredictable...I can whisper magic into whatever I like, breathe a kind of life into objects with it, but what it does after that? Completely follows its own nature.

[Loki chews on a bite of sausage thoughtfully, swallowing before gesturing to the two Apollo's]

Don't understand what this is all about [the dueling with sausages] or why they seem to want to torture me, well torture might be a strong word...

More like people know better than to mess with me.

[A notion that extends to paper gods, apparently.]

Whereas you... I get the feeling you like the unpredictability.

With a face as sweet and unassuming as yours? I'm trying to picture it.

[Loki's just jealous because he doesn't have a truly stern expression in his repertoire. This probably stems from the fact that he's incapable of taking anything seriously for extended periods of time.]

Unpredictability is what keeps my little heart humming. You're having a perfectly pleasant conversation and suddenly--

[And suddenly one Apollo knocks a sausage out of the other Apollo's hand, hitting it out of the park and right into Loki's face. It takes effort not to look antagonized.]

--you find yourself confronted with a sausage dilemma of your own making.

[M can't help but laugh at the whole situation. It's just too absurd.]

Then you've certainly had an accomplished dinner.

[Yes, absurd, and the onslaught against himself was even more so, which was why he created a diversion. He didn't need to draw a picture in order to create a model of himself, Loki was his own frame of reference.

And so, joining the Apollos was a miniature sized model of Loki, but not the one sitting across from M, this Loki resembled the one sitting across the table in color scheme and the acidic green of his eyes only. Everything else seemed more sinister and hungry than the present playful, mischievous creature he is now.

Now that they had a villain Loki scooped up the miniature copies and set them loose on the floor, free to chase and do battle to the contentment of their own hearts.]

I've amused you, I suppose that was the goal, though perhaps not at my own expense, still if you feel like this evening was even marginally unpredictable then I will own the accomplishment fully.

[M watches Loki draw this new character, but decides not to ask about it. What with the similar color scheme and the clear "supervillain" body type, added with the fact he's mentioned a past life... It seems like something he should steer clear of.]

This was certainly an unpredictable dinner.

[He smiles as he takes a final bite of sausage.]

And you have no idea how rare that is for me.

[Fortunately, evil, villain Loki has the desirable effect in drawing the attention of the two Apollos...and if he was to be honest with himself he found it more amusing than he should watching them. Watching King Loki as he's batted around by sausages? Priceless, and he doesn't hide his snickering.]

Mmmm. We'll have to try it again, I'll shall endeavor to outdo myself with feats of magic.

[Finishing off his own meal Loki settles back with his wine. He could probably eat more, but he didn't need to.]

Ah, statistically, how rare? Curiosity and all that.

While I won't turn down another magic show, it isn't necessary. I had a good time without it.

[M doesn't even hesitate as he spits out an exact percentage. It's quite low.]

A side effect of knowing every move someone makes before they make it.

Ah, yes, well it the words of the great Nirvana: come as you are. I can manage the unpredictability of such sage wisdom.

[It's surprising enough that M didn't turn him down for seconds.

It's also surprising that he's able to offer Loki a percentage with such certainty. Not that it should be given his claims.]

Is this gift of your effective in most situations or are there select situations, blind spots, if you will, in which this gift of yours is impeded?

[Loki has already come to the conclusion that his little magic tricks took him by surprise, so he makes a gesture toward the Apollos and King Loki as the battle wages onward.]

I'll pretend I know who that is and agree.

[And why wouldn't he? It's been an enjoyable night.]

Sometimes I know what someone's abilities are, but not the full extent... such as yours. There are other exceptions too, but a man has to have some secrets.

Music, I'm fond of Earth music, it's the name of a band...very moody music.

[And food, who turns down food...granted Loki can be a mooch when it comes to Earth foods so maybe that's his own perspective.]

I suspect if my abilities were whole both you and I might be in the dark as to their extent. [His abilities are, after all, based on his own whims. sorcery is varied and unpredictable, it's also something one can always expand upon and change.] Aye. I suppose you're right, I've more secrets so I understand, it's best never to put all of ones eggs in the same basket.

[Loki did have some abilities he was keeping even from those who knew him...well enough.]

All right then.

[Yeah, sorry Loki, he has next to no pop culture knowledge.]

I'm wondering if that means that I should consider myself lucky, then. Though I will say I'm glad that I'm glad you're a man who appreciates a secret.

[How do you live M? How in the name of Odin's holy eye socket do you live?]

Secrets often come with a negative connotation, but not everyone is looking out for your best interests. It's always clever to have a few hidden up...

[Well that thought was going somewhere, until the three caballeros rounded the couch and disappeared.

No sooner had they left their field of vision did the distinct sound of something shattering distract Loki from his line of thought.]

...that...sounded valuable. [Cool as you please

In fact, it sounded like a collectors item. Unbeknownst to Loki the trio of troublemakers have forsaken their sausages for the sharp remnants of Loki's vintage wine glasses...he's got a thing for them.]

[His life mainly revolves around punching people. The whole "other things to life" thing is a relatively new revelation to him.

M's up even before the first glass shatters, though just misses keeping the first glass from shattering. He quickly swipes a second glass from the god Apollo's hand and carefully places it back on the table.]

You think it's cute to screw with the god of mischief, and maybe he's got a little bit of patience. I don't. I also know where the lighters are kept. Stop touching his stuff.

[Loki and his Apollo drop the glass shards and all three mutely nod. M turns his back on the paper trolls and continues the conversation as if nothing had happened.]

Exactly. And as I've had it turned on me by someone I trust, I can't say I'm in a hurry to have that happen again.

[Fortunately Loki isn't completely wise to all of the workings of mortal cultures, he was only recently introduced to the world of speed dating. Some things make very little sense.

Fortunately only one of his wine goblets had perished in the incident, but there were the broken pieces to clean up, he could do that and talk at the same time fortunately.]

I should make you clean this up, but you seem to be in time out.

[Or at least they looked as though M had put them in time out. He had to admit, M staggered him a bit with his defense of Loki...or his stuff anyway. Quite possibly as rare a thing as M being taken by surprise.]

I haven't been in a position to trust anyone so I cannot relate [but he has been on the reverse side of that issue, betraying trust, so he could certainly understand why someone would guard themselves so carefully in front of someone like the God of Mischief. Loki would do it.] I am sorry that happened to you though.

[M snorts at the mention of time out, though it sobers considerably when they start talking about Matt.]

Thank you, but at the end of the day I don't regret it. The thought of going home and showing him how foolish it is to make an enemy of me keeps me happy.

Edited 2017-02-01 02:12 (UTC)

And they say you can't fix yourself by breaking someone else. I beg to differ, revenge is always satisfying.

[Not that Loki is entirely certain who they are talking about, only that they must have been close to put such a staid expression on his companion's face. He could only bring levity to the situation.]

This one would agree. [Loki poked a finger at King Loki who retaliated by swiping back with a hidden piece of glass. Apparently some of Loki's illusionary abilities had bled over into his creation and that meant a few tricks as well. Loki glanced down at his bloody finger, wearing an expression that might have been a mock pout, and with a dismissive wave sent King Loki back to his imagination with nothing to show for it but a puff of green smoke.] Feels better already.

It is.

[Though he'll reluctantly admit it won't make the sting of betrayal go away.]

You really do love to live dangerously.

Still hurts.

[Is he talking about his finger or something else.]

I can't help myself, I see trouble and I throw myself right at it. A real Daredevil--in fact if someone hadn't already cornered the market for that superhero sobriquet I would be walking around right now calling myself Daredevil. [He sucks at the wound thoughtfully for a moment before shaking his head.] Actually no I wouldn't, it's a terrible superhero name.

I'd ask if you were joking, but in my world someone thought it was a brilliant idea to dress up like a giant bat and call himself "Batman," so I'm aware of how low the bar can be.

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