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[heliophilic]

This is M. I'm most likely out punching someone. Don't worry, they deserve it.

Probably.

I'll call you back later.

TEXT | VOICE | VIDEO

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[heliophilic]

And who exactly would know it's a joke?

[sidecars]

I... I dunno! Someone! You're not the only old man that thinks I'm a useless shorty.

[ The weight of the chip on Bucky's shoulder is what's keeping him so short. ]

[heliophilic]

I didn't pick the Chihuahua because you're short.

I've never even met you in person, how the hell would I know how tall you are?

[sidecars]

.......

[ Okay, now Bucky is confused. ]

Then... Why did you pick it? Just to hide the knife?

[heliophilic]

You ever seen a Chihuahua? Mean little bastards, always picking a fight with anyone who dares make eye contact with them.

Because they don't know when to pick their battles.

[sidecars]

Well... [ He is really struggling to come up with any sort of counter to this very accurate description. He can't really find one. ] I like fighting.

[ So what? WANNA FIGHT HIM OVER IT? ]

[heliophilic]

So do I.

I was literally made for it.

[Disappears off screen for a moment and comes back with his Midnighter jacket. It's liberally caked with blood.]

The only time I feel alive is when I'm crushing someone's bones beneath my fingers. Implants in my brain give me helpful suggestions on how best to kill someone. I can see a fight in my head play out a million different ways before the first punch is thrown.

[He gently puts the jacket down. No reason to ruin his nice hardwood floor.]

I still don't bark nearly as much as you do.

[sidecars]

[ Bucky has always believed he was destined to his job, too. Perhaps it's not the same as being made to kill, but it's part of his duties and Bucky does it well. He infiltrates and kills before anyone knows he is there. It's silent and effective and off the record. ]

Made as in...? Are you a robot?

[ Boy wouldn't that be swell! His first robot friend!! ]

Well sure! Who would mess with you? Most people think I'm a joke...

[ Which is the point, or at least one of them. He does get that, he takes advantage of it constantly, but it's still frustrating too not instill trepidation in people the way Cap does. Cap doesn't even do the dark stuff. ]

[heliophilic]

[M shakes his head.] In a matter of speaking, but no. Whatever I am, I'm sure as hell not human anymore, though.

That's your greatest strength, kid. People don't expect things from a joke. They let their guard down.

[sidecars]

[ WELP! That's it! Bucky's hella curious. This kid is all about sci-fi and you are gonna make his day being not human. ]

So... You're genetically altered? Gosh...

[ There's a tired sigh here. ]

Yeah, I know. Don't mean it ain't... frustrating! Be nice if someone got it, is all.

[heliophilic]

Technologically altered. Carbon fiber muscles to enhance strength and speed, enchanced senses, implants to run through every scenario before it happens, implants to let me see other people's abilities, healing factor...

I think I volunteered for it.

[Well, if he didn't, he's sure as hell not complaining about it now.]

I gave you that knife, didn't I? Jokes don't get pointy objects.

[sidecars]

Like my partner... Well, kind of.

[ Still a volunteer for to become a super human. What can Bucky say? He's a little jealous. ]

Thanks. I'll have this bastard trained in no time!

[heliophilic]

Somehow I doubt it.

[He can see that hint of jealousy there.]

In exchange I lost all memory of my life before becoming the Midnighter. Not exactly something to aspire to.

Don't cut any major arteries.

[sidecars]

Really? ... That sure bites. Who knows? Maybe you were a nice guy before it!

[ Bucky's already fiddling with it. ]

Aww, worried? Don't be, I got this!

[heliophilic]

Har. I've come to terms with the fact my past is lost to me.

[...That's a lie. He thought he was, but the more he thinks about how Matt knows his past when he doesn't, it's starting to get to him.]

More like you're going to cut yourself a couple hundred times--little ones, nothing major--before you actually get serious and start watching some tutorials on how to properly handle that thing.

[sidecars]

Well that ain't nothing new. [ All Bucky's made of is scars. His hands particularly are nicked up every which way from, yep, knife cuts. ] Prepared to be amazed! In... I dunno, a few weeks. Don't worry! You know you'll be the first to hear all about it.

[heliophilic]

Again, don't knick anything major.