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[heliophilic]

This is M. I'm most likely out punching someone. Don't worry, they deserve it.

Probably.

I'll call you back later.

TEXT | VOICE | VIDEO

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[heliophilic]

I know.

But I refuse to grovel to something as little as the end of the world.

[heliophilic]

Fuck if I know.

[Seriously, he's just sort of winging this adult thing, and making other parts up wholesale as he goes along. It's worked for him thus far.]

You've been here for over a thousand years. If someone should have some semblance of their shit together, it's you.

That's a no to the fucking your actual husband, then.

[killtime]

I peaked on age-related wisdom before the Christ Child was born. It was all downhill from there.

[ Which is her way of saying she's been making it up this whole fucking time too, same as him.

A bit flatly, then: ]

And will someone please explain to me why the fuck everyone is so interested in whether I've fucked Rex or not? I've fucked about a dozen other people since I got here, and nobody ever asks me about them.

[heliophilic]

I'm more surprised to learn Jesus was real.

[Then again, the fact that someone named Jesus existed and was revered as a god is far more plausible than anything.]

Because you haven't put a ring on those assholes.

[killtime]

[ Pointedly: ]

Babe, I didn't put a ring on him either. Not a literal one, anyway.

[ As if to make the point stick, she holds up both her own hands — ring free. ]

Legal marriage, remember. There wasn't any point in the jewelry.

[heliophilic]

Look, where you all chose to put those rings are none of my business.

[killtime]

[ She gives him an amused little sidelong look.

Naughty, M. ]

We're a lifetime away from that kind of ring. [ Dryly: ] He's never even seen me fully naked. And I'm not sure he actually wants to.

[ Does Rex even know if he actually wants to? She's not so sure. ]

[heliophilic]

Well that would make your bedroom dealings awkward...

[Unsure if he should go with serious or joke, he decides to pick one and let Andy decide if he's made the wrong choice.]

I mean, you could leave the lights off.

[killtime]

Babe, I'm pretty sure my husband has never handled a vagina before. [ Dryly: ] Not sure I want him fumbling around in the dark down there.

[ Funny though, how she says that with a twinge of something like affection instead of frustration. Sure, it's been a while since she's gotten laid and sure, she's doing a lot of self-maintenance right now, but she doesn't... Mind it as much as a person might think.

Oddly, she seems... Almost content with things. ]

[heliophilic]

Then your husbands have something in common.

[M absolutely notices her tone. Though he may be teasing her about her and Rex's unconventional relationship, whatever makes them both happy--sex or no sex--is all right by him. It's nice to see his cynical friend something akin to content.]

[killtime]

[ Wry as ever, giving M a little sidelong glance as she leans to refill her own glass: ]

That's my type: Men who aren't physically attracted to me. Something about the idea of indefinitely unresolved sexual tension really makes me want to commit.

[heliophilic]

You're truly only attracted to your little fleshy friends.

[He takes a big sip so he can hold out his glass for her to refill as well.]

[killtime]

[ She's not a completely terrible friend — so she obligingly refills his glass too, topping him off rather generously. It's a good thing he's steady-handed.

WIth the same dryness: ]

What, like I'm not capable of a little romance?

3rd october

[solarcharged]

It's National Boyfriend Day today. Did you know that was a thing?

untraceable text

[maskormods]

/

u-s-t-s•-d•
n•-s-t
o•-s-e-m
s-o-s
h-t-s•-h-r
a-h-i-e-o-l-y
e•-e•-r-t•-e•
a-l

[heliophilic]

I didn't.

I also didn't think you liked that word.

[Also, this is one of the cutest texts he's ever gotten.]

[solarcharged]

It's not that I don't like it, I just don't... prefer it.

Anyway, it was on the radio this morning. I don't think it's a real thing but happy national boyfriend day all the same :)

[heliophilic]

I'm just teasing.

Happy National Boyfriend Day to you too.

Does the corporations that be deign that we celebrate NBD?

[solarcharged]

There's probably a selection of glittery Hallmark cards/boxes of chocolates/oversized stuffed animals out there, all made especially for the occasion. I'll happily settle for a kiss.

[heliophilic]

Like you need a corporate-mandated holiday for that.

[solarcharged]

Oh! In which case I'll be greedy and ask for two.

[heliophilic]

🤔

🤔🤔

I don't think I can do that, Dave.

[solarcharged]

Really? We'll see.

(PS. Of all the pop culture references you DO know...)

[heliophilic]

I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

[solarcharged]

Liiiiittle bit creepy now, mr computer brain...