IC Inbox

[heliophilic]

This is M. I'm most likely out punching someone. Don't worry, they deserve it.

Probably.

I'll call you back later.

TEXT | VOICE | VIDEO

Comments

[performance]

[ That's an awful lot to think about, and he's going to have to wrestle with it for a while. But hearing someone else talk about this — someone who at least seems to be a confident and self-assured adult, regardless of whatever else he might have going on — is new. Or at least, it's the first time this advice has actually hit home in a way that meant something to him. ]

... Thanks for talking about all this with me. I don't... have a lot of people who are good at advice and get this stuff. Batman and I aren't, um, close. Here. And other people try, they do, but they don't understand what being from Gotham's like, so I just... [ He exhales slowly. ] I know this kind of started out as a joke, but thank you so much for taking me seriously.

Can I ask you one other thing?

[heliophilic]

Not a joke. You just needed a push in the right direction.

[M's glad this isn't a video conversation, because he's rubbing his neck as he figures out how to tackle what Dick just told him. This is so out of his wheelhouse.]

I'm really not, Dick. I'm not a hero, I'm not a role model, and I sure as hell don't give good advice. I'm just telling you how I live my life.

[He can guess what that last question might be.]

There was nothing between me and the Grayson back home. We met tracking down the same black science that was stolen from the Garden. When we first started out, we both thought we were on different sides. Eventually we figured out we weren't, our methods just differed. Not exactly sure what the hell you'd call us now, but it'd be something like allies. There's definitely respect as far as I'm concerned. You don't go monster hunting in Russia with people you don't trust.

The fact he has a great ass is just a bonus.

[performance]

[ Aaaaand speaking of being glad this isn't a video conversation, Dick goes bright red, suddenly sooo flustered. ]

T-that's— that's not what I was going to ask! I mean yes okay I admit I was curious but that wasn't my question...

[heliophilic]

Then go ahead, Dickie. Shoot.

[Because now he's curious.]

[performance]

[ Pardon him while he makes a muffled, more-than-faintly embarrassed noise into his hand for a second. ]

[performance]

[ OKAY WE GOOD. He clears his throat. ]

I was just going to say. That first boyfriend you mentioned — your aggressive anthropologist friend. He really meant a lot to you, didn't he?

[ He's never heard M sound like that, is all. ]

[heliophilic]

....Yeah.

Andrew. His name's Andrew.

And he's much better off without me.

[performance]

Why? [ Dick sounds genuinely confused. ] Weren't you just giving me a whole romantic pep talk?

[heliophilic]

You and Bucky are completely different from me and Andrew.

[performance]

Well, I mean, I trust you on that, but still.

[heliophilic]

You two have a chance.


...We didn't.

[performance]

Why not?

[ Can't stop being nosy. Sorry. Detective. ]

[heliophilic]

[That's not detective, that's being nosy.]

Because I ran the odds and they stopped being in our favor.

Drop it, Grayson.

[performance]

All right. Consider it dropped. But you were a busybody first.

[ He doesn't sound too fussed about it, but then, he doesn't sound very apologetic, either. ]

... Anyway, I don't know. I like him a lot. He's cute and he's fun and I can tell he really cares about me. It's just— a lot to think about. I don't even have that many friends, so... I'm twice as worried about messing something up.

[heliophilic]

I'm helping you, there's a difference.

At least now you're actually thinking about it.

[He isn't sure what to say about not having friends. Until recently, M didn't either. He's not even sure what someone like Jason or Tony would say in this situation--they're all he really counts among his friends.]

[performance]

You can help and be a busybody. I do it all the time. [ But hey, he's back to joking. He pauses, though, considering whether to say this next bit at all. ] I was thinking about it since we met. But things got complicated after the Russia simulation.

[heliophilic]

I have to entertain myself somehow, and since you two have latched onto me, you deserve it.

Does this wrinkle involve Robin?

[performance]

Kind of. It was a survival simulation that became a war simulation, and I... disagreed with his methods. [ IF YOU KNOW WHAT HE MEANS. ] Intensely.

[heliophilic]

So you're telling me he's a Chihuahua after my own heart.

[A fact that frankly does not surprise him in the least from what he does know about the tiny dog boy.]

Not everyone can be the Justice League, you know, Dickie. Sometimes we have to get our hands dirty.

[performance]

I know. I know I can be idealistic, but I'm not naive. He's a soldier. I understand the reality of that. But it's different when it's personal.

[heliophilic]

You mean when you have to see it.

[performance]

[ That makes him bristle, but he doesn't argue it, for the moment. Still, there's a definite sharper edge to his tone when he replies, simply: ]

Yes.

[heliophilic]

[See how much of a flying fuck M gives about your sharper edge, Dick Grayson.]

Then you don't understand the reality of what Bucky does. What he did in that simulation, that is what a soldier does.

You don't have to like it, but damn if you don't have to accept it. Not everyone shares The Bat's moral high ground.

[performance]

I realize that. But like I said, I'd never faced the reality of it before. I'd never had to work with someone who does that. And look, it's been tearing me up since November. Because the thing is, no matter what I think about it? He isn't wrong. It's easy enough for me to believe what I've been taught until it stops working.

[heliophilic]

Did Bucky ask you to kill a virtual man?