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[heliophilic]

This is M. I'm most likely out punching someone. Don't worry, they deserve it.

Probably.

I'll call you back later.

TEXT | VOICE | VIDEO

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[sidecars]

[ Pain in the--? Oh God! ] Oh my God! Oh my God!

[ Bucky is scrubbing his face soooo hard ahhhhhh you and your horrible gay puns!! ]

I'm not full of myself! I just... It wasn't 'cause you like guys! It's... You just don't look...

[ You are a giant, rather intimidating man and the idea of you being tender with another guy is just.... HOW DOES THAT WORK?! ]

But you, you know... You're the one... on top right?

[heliophilic]

And here I thought we finally moved away from the stereotypes.

You going to give me every detail of your sex life?

[sidecars]

You're right, sorry! I just have so many questions!

[ Most of them very nosy and shameless. ]

Well, it's a pretty short book. I wanted to get rid of my virginity ASAP. I was drunk, she was drunk, there was heckling from some of the enlistees on base. [ Then he shrugs. ] Then a War happened and I got real friendly with my right hand. Sometimes my left when I was feeling particularly risque some nights...

[heliophilic]

[It takes every ounce of his (considerably small) tact not to burst out laughing when the kid actually starts handing in his sexual resume.

Instead, he deadpans:]

Wow, you're a real Don Juan, kid. What a lucky lady. And of course I'm referring to left.

[And seeing as there's no escaping this question:]

Sometimes I slam him against a wall, sometimes he slams me up against a table. Sometimes, we go crazy and try a bed for a change. It depends on how we're feeling that night.

[sidecars]

Yeah, lefty's pretty good.

[ It's followed up with a laugh! He isn't stupid, you know, Bucky's fully aware of how oh so magical his sex life sounds. Siigh sigh. ]

Really? [ He is far too invested in this. Morbidly so. ] You don't mind? Isn't that... I mean to let someone have the kinda power over you...

[ Lord it sounds awful! Then again everyone who tries to wrestle Bucky for top spot is also trying to kill him, so he's a little biased. ]

[heliophilic]

It's not power, kid. It's passion.

Believe me, there's a difference.

[sidecars]

Uh huh, guess I'll take your word on that...

[ He's never loved anyone "passionately" before, so it's hard to imagine there's something worth giving another person the upper hand over you. ]

[heliophilic]

Good.

Do us both a favor and give the internet a whirl on how "queer" really works. I'm not going to be your google for every little detail.