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[heliophilic]

This is M. I'm most likely out punching someone. Don't worry, they deserve it.

Probably.

I'll call you back later.

TEXT | VOICE | VIDEO

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[sidecars]

[ Is that sarcasm? Are you being cheeky? He's in such a good mood right now, he's gonna let it slide. ]

He didn't put them all on! I am capable of fixing myself when--How did you even know he helped me?!

[ It was like two damn band-aids! Is there a camera in Senor aMigo he doesn't know about? ]

[heliophilic]

[Excuse you, he's always cheeky.]

Probability did. Next time Dickie came over your place you'd feel compelled to show off, and seeing as you haven't mastered the bailsong yet, you'd cut yourself. Of course, Dickie'd feel obligated to patch you up.

[sidecars]

Well. He's a nice guy...

[ This is awkward. Why is this so awkward? And why are they talking so much about Dick? This is supposed to be about him and his knife skills here! ]

[heliophilic]

He's a very nice guy. It seems to be a constant throughout the multiverse.

I know just being around Grayson back home you felt like you had to shape up and be someone better. I wasn't a big fan of his little disappointed pouty face he had.

[sidecars]

Oh. So you know him outside of this place? [ Makes sense then why he would help them out with the helicopter. And here Bucky really thought he had pulled someone into his con. Not that M ever believed him, but disbelieved it so much he had to help with this cold blooded scam. ] Yeah, I, uh, can imagine. Although I seem to get his annoyed face more...

[ LUL can't imagine why, you are such an angel Bucky. ]

[heliophilic]

We apparently come from parallel universes. I've done business in Gotham before, and our paths have crossed a few times. Not formally one of my assets, but I'll wear him down eventually.

[LOOK, DICK, HE'S PROTECTING YOUR GODDAMN STUPID SECRET IDENTITY FOR YOU. YOU BETTER BE GRATEFUL, YOU LITTLE BASTARD.]

I'm sure if he was really annoyed with you, he'd stop hanging out with you. Seems like it's something more for show.

Andrew used to do it to me all the time.

[sidecars]

... Yeah, I guess that's true. [ Most people either stick around longterm or they slough off real quick. It is almost always the latter, but Dick seems to be holding on pretty well.

Also why are you wearing down Dick? For what purpose? What does that mean? It sounds foreboding! ]

Andrew? Is he your friend back home?

[heliophilic]

You must be close then.

[Snorts.]

He's my ex.

1/3

[sidecars]

[ His ex? His ex... His ex-partner? His ex-friend? His... ]

2/4

[sidecars]

3/4

[sidecars]

4/4

[sidecars]

Oh my G--! [ Oh lord his phone just slipped out of his confused and horrified hands! It clatters to the floor as Bucky remains a little stunned where he sits on his bed.

Then he picks it up and looks just as agape as he started. ] You're a queer?!

[heliophilic]

[Ah that was more beautiful than he thought it would be.]

As a three dollar bill.

[sidecars]

[ Whaaaat? ]

But you're so... I mean you're so..... You know! Big and tough looking! You're a man's man!

[ Isn't he just? Ba dum bum tsh! ]

[heliophilic]

I'm pretty sure gay by definition is "a man's man."

Would you prefer I have a limp wrist, or a lisp, or any number of ridiculous, outdated stereotypes?

[sidecars]

[ Wow he walked right into that one! Bucky snaps his mouth shut and tries hard not to turn red. He fails. ]

No, I guess not. I mean, that's fine! I don't mind or nothing! I just... I wouldn't have ever pegged you as...

Do you... You tell people this? Don't you care?

[heliophilic]

I care enough that I do whatever it is that makes me happy. Everyone else can go to hell.

[sidecars]

Yeah, but... [ Bucky is frowning harder, disliking that kind of easy answer. That sort of thing just wouldn't fly back home. And those who would try it end up paying a heavy price. If Bucky were in their shoes, he doesn't think it would be worth it. ] It's easy for you to say that when you're unstoppable.

[heliophilic]

Look, I'm always going to pick a fight. That's who I am, even if I didn't have the fight computer in my brain. You're right when you said that it's easy for me to say, but not because I'm unstoppable. It's because I always know what's going to happen next. That, plus my love of a good fight means I'm not going to shy away from doing something that might raise some eyebrows.

But saying it's because I'm unstoppable? That's not true at all. Andrew was far stronger than me, in every way imaginable, and he had his issues too. Grew up surrounded by people who had the same kind of close-minded thoughts. It ate him up inside, pretending to be someone he wasn't. So I've seen firsthand what it does to people, even the "invincible."

[sidecars]

[ Bucky is bristling a little the more M speaks. He's making it sound personal and he's not sure why. Maybe it's his own paranoia, but Bucky isn't gay here! This isn't about him. Or it shouldn't be at any rate.

He doesn't need a pat on the back yes he does, always. ]

Maybe it does, but it's better to have a job and be free. All those guys that get arrested in raids... They all know it's gonna happen sooner or later. Why bother with that?

[ It doesn't seem like most aspects of life are about really being yourself. So why add to it with one more problem? It seems dumb to Bucky. ]

[heliophilic]

You skipped that part of the "welcome to the 21st century" handbook, eh soldier?

"Breathing while Gay"'s not a crime anymore.

[sidecars]

And I'm all for that. Good for the future.

[ His eyes narrow in a little, not exactly buying what M is selling here. ]

What does this have to do with me? [ What happened to talks of knives?!? ] I told you I'm not opposed to queers! Or gays, if that's what you wanna call it. I got nothing against gays. Just seems like one more pain in the ass, that's all...

[heliophilic]

Well, it can be a pain in the ass.

[Eyebrow waggle.]

And wow, full of yourself much? You were the one who freaked out about me being queer, and I just spent the last 5 minutes talking you off a ledge.

[sidecars]

[ Pain in the--? Oh God! ] Oh my God! Oh my God!

[ Bucky is scrubbing his face soooo hard ahhhhhh you and your horrible gay puns!! ]

I'm not full of myself! I just... It wasn't 'cause you like guys! It's... You just don't look...

[ You are a giant, rather intimidating man and the idea of you being tender with another guy is just.... HOW DOES THAT WORK?! ]

But you, you know... You're the one... on top right?

[heliophilic]

And here I thought we finally moved away from the stereotypes.

You going to give me every detail of your sex life?